All the Doubts
Embarking on an adventure, like starting a business, is daunting and before launching Leap I was plagued with self-doubt. And those doubts didn’t magically go away after I launched.
There was (and is) a constant string of questions that pop up:
What if no one is interested in my offering?
What if I’m making a mistake?
What will people say if I fail?
What if I’m not good enough to do this?
Sound familiar?
BUT the key was to not let these doubts stop me. I believe that what I’m drawn to doing can make a difference and that is what I’m truly passionate about. That drives me to put in the work to make my dream a reality.
This meant I had to learn how to deal with all those nagging questions and doubts in order to get out of my own way because we are often our own biggest critics and our own biggest blockers.
Learning how to deal with self-doubt is key to getting out of your own way, not only for business owners and leaders but for anyone tackling something daunting.
So how do you deal with it?
There are many ways to deal with it, but I found these to be effective:
1. Acknowledge your doubts
2. Check your tone
3. Reflect on your past achievements
4. Reach out to your support squad
5. Give your doubts space
6. Harness the power of your doubts
7. Charge your doubts ‘rent’
1. Acknowledge your Doubts
Doubts can be useful indicators on your adventure, but you have to know which are valid and which are unfounded. Ignoring them is a very short-term fix and most of the time ineffectual as they tend to just come back stronger. Acknowledging the doubts and understanding where they are coming from allows you to tackle them more broadly.
That requires knowing yourself as it is key to building confidence and tackling them head-on. For instance, I know that I’m extremely critical of myself (#workinprogress), so my fear of failure is intense. This makes my brain a glorious playground for self-doubt to flourish. However, I also know that my brain is just trying to ‘protect’ me from the ‘scary’ things I’m making it do which is launch and run a business. This understanding of myself and my doubts allows me to work through them more easily.
When the doubts come creeping in, take a moment to acknowledge what they are and why they’re coming, so that you can move forward and address them.
2. Check your Tone
That voice inside your head can be downright mean, so checking how you’re talking to yourself when those doubts pop up is important. We are often our own harshest critics, so it’s important to be more compassionate with ourselves. This allows you to take the ‘sting’ out of those doubts without ignoring them.
Ask yourself the following question – ‘What would I say to a friend who was in this same situation?’. Because it’s often easier to be compassionate to those around you than to yourself.
3. Reflect on your Past Achievements
Ever noticed how easy it is to recall failures, like that embarrassing thing you said to a colleague that one time? And have you noticed how achievements become fuzzy a lot quicker? It’s really useful to spend some time reflecting on your past achievements as you’ll be able to refute those doubts a lot easier. It allows you to shine a light on those dark thoughts. This can be especially hard when you’re already feeling very critical of yourself, but it’s important to have access to your own highlights reel.
Give yourself a few minutes to go down memory lane and bask in the glory of your past achievements. Shifting gears to focus on the positive can really help turn the tide on those doubts.
4. Reach out to your Support Squad
However, sometimes the doubts can be too overwhelming and you hit a wall trying to reflect on your past achievements. This is where a great support squad comes in. Those special people in your life that know you, motivate you, and root for you. Reaching out to your support squad is key to battling doubts, especially when you’re doing something alone, like starting a business. They are the people who can often recall your successes a lot better than you and can provide you with amazing support when it all feels too much. Think about how easily you can recall your best friend’s highlights reel.
Reach out to your support squad to help you get through those dark thoughts and see how they can help you shine a light straight through your doubts.
5. Give your Doubts Space
Sometimes, despite your best efforts and the support from your squad the doubts persist and you just can’t shake them. And that’s okay. Lean into it and play out those worst-case scenarios, but give yourself a fixed time limit. Explore those doubts fully, because by doing so you take away their power and you have the opportunity to scrutinize them and challenge them.
Give yourself 15 minutes to play out whichever doubt is plaguing you and explore how you’d handle the ‘what ifs’. Most of the time you’ll realize that the worst-case scenario is actually not as bad as you imagined and you’ll be able to handle it or have a plan to avoid it.
6. Harness the Power of your Doubts
As mentioned before, doubts can be useful too. Because they allow you to stop and think about your path. For better or worse, they carry power. They impact your decision-making and can be a key driving force behind whether or not you succeed in your goals. However, you can harness that power for good and have it help you achieve your goals. Doubts can help motivate you to take on the change needed to succeed as long as they are kept in check.
I use my fear of failure to drive me to deliver the best quality work I can for my clients and my business. However, it is tempered with self-care, so that I can continue delivering great work for a long time and not hit that burnout wall.
Use those doubts for good, by allowing them to motivate you and drive you, but make sure to keep them in check.
7. Charge your Doubts ‘Rent’
Then finally, doubts should not be allowed to live in your head ‘rent-free’. Make it hard for your doubts to get a permanent space in your head because this can lead them to become permanent blockers. Write down your past achievements, have your support squad on speed dial and take whatever steps you can to deal with the doubts swiftly so that they don’t get in your way.
Know yourself, create a list of go-to achievements, and write down the things your support squad has said to you so you have ways to deal with those familiar doubts when they pop up. This allows you to get back to doing great things much faster.
Moving Forward
Having doubts is something that everyone has to contend with, but it doesn’t mean that you’re not confident or successful, it just means that you’re human. The most successful people in the world still have doubts from time to time, but they don’t allow them to stop them in their tracks.
In the end, it’s your choice how you deal with the self-doubt pit. You can choose to let it swallow you up and cut your adventure short or use the tools you have to climb out and adventure on.
I choose to use my tools and I aim to help those around me learn how to use their tools too.